Funerals.

I think they should give people some kind of warning. A nice little note at the bottom of the program saying there will be an open casket. I don't think people are ever quite prepared to look at a dead body. I don't mean to be insensitive. I'm really sensitive. Hence, the reason there should be a note. I just sat there and I tried not to look. But, he was in front of everyone and white. And, I felt nauseous. I really did. I kept thinking about how horrible it would be for me to stand up and walk out. But, of course I couldn't do that. I just sat there and I stared at the snap dragons that were in one of the arrangements. I thought about how I used to play tennis at Singing Hills when I was little and how my mom would "snap" the flower for me. I liked that. I didn't even listen to the service. I thought that I was going to pass out. I really didn't think I would react in that way. I'd been to one of these types of funerals before. But, something in me just couldn't handle it. Just couldn't handle seeing this man, who looks nothing like the man I knew, laying blank in a casket. I have no idea what the pastor said... except for Psalm 23. When I die, I don't want an open casket. I don't want some solemn procession. As cliche as it is, I want a happy funeral. One where everyone thinks, "Heck yes! Lauren is having a party in heaven right now." Because that's the way it will be for me. I'll be having a party in heaven. Seriously, I want there to be cake and balloons and praise music. Not the beach boys, no. But, praise music. Happy praising. And people can cry. That's ok. But, I don't want them to be really so sad because I'll be rocking up in heaven with Jesus. And so funerals make you think of these things. I don't like being morbid. But, really, this is the way I would want it to be; a party.