A lot of things have been swirling through my mind lately. Things that I want to talk about but I'm not sure who to say it to. So, you get to choose to read this. It's one of the many great things about blogging.
I was thinking about breaking God's heart. I will restate that. I was thinking about the different ways we all break God's heart. It sucks, right? I know it sounds super depressing and everything, but I was thinking about that sacrifice that God made for us- the sacrifice to love us all. I'm reading Sex God by Rob Bell (which, by the way, is not about being a sex god. Or about sex as the world sees it. It's about God. It's about Sex.) He mentions this idea a little bit in his book- this idea about breaking God's heart. He talks about how we all have the choice to choose God and how he gave us that power. He risked it all for us to maybe not love him back. That must have been totally scary. Imagine that degree of vulnerability. It's nuts. It really is. It's great. It's amazing. It's so hard to do that. To risk not being loved by someone. It's a simple idea really, but hits those deep areas. God wants us to do that, to love everyone even if they don't love us back. Which, to me, sounds super easy when thinking about those random strangers you meet everyday and are nice to because you know it's important to love them. But, when I think about those people that are the closest to me, it's harder. It seems like it shouldn't be because I love them more, right? But, it is. They're closer, they know me, I've given them something already. I've given them pieces of my heart- my dearest friends, my brother, my sister, my parents, my boyfriend. They could tell you things about me that Mr. Random wouldn't ever know. Inevitably, I've loved them. Now, can you imagine God being in my place and not being loved back? God giving his heart to the friend and the dad and the sister and being rejected? It hurts to think about. And God doesn't give up. He just keeps loving and His heart never gets hard and cold. How crazy amazing is that?
Well, I have other thoughts about Exodus, but seeing as I haven't completely mastered this new laptop of mine (and deleted a lot of what I just wrote about Exodus) I will end here because I have no more energy.
More later.
On a sad note, I killed my dear little fish, Opal. I forgot to add that much needed water conditioner stuff. I woke up to her nose dived into the rocks at the bottom of her bowl. My brother, being sympathetic, bought me a replacement for my birthday. It's a boy. His name is Rubio (soon to be a fish taco). Take a look... he's a little camouflage...
